Albert Camus, in his novel ‘Plague’, poses a question, ‘Who taught you all this, Doctor?’. The reply came promptly, ‘Suffering’.

I strongly believe that assigning significance and meaning to sorrow or suffering is at the heart of therapy. I am convinced that, in every suffering there is a component gain for the individual sufferer. I am pleased to carry out the task of writing about it, but the benefits of suffering did not come quickly to me. It was a long process.

‘Ten Most Positive Things Exercise’ – in my opinion, ten of the most positive things that have come from my recent painful experience, include:

1. The most common and widespread positive result of suffering is that of finding one’s life’s meaning, due to the emotional space and vacuum created by suffering, i.e., realizing the depth of pain and empathizing with people going through similar pain. This allows for the sufferer to assign the meaning of “helping people in crisis situations”, for one’s life. For me, the impetus for development in this direction was the long drawn out divorce process, which lasted for 7 years. Each one of the difficult events during this time, propelled me to the development of the then unknown meaning of my life. Driven by the strong motivation, everything with respect to learning about helping people in crisis situations, became extremely easy for me. Turning back, I just can’t believe that I have mastered such a huge amount of knowledge while raising 2 kids along the way, and managing my own business at the same time.

Further, I will give 9 less common positive consequences of the sufferings I have experienced.

2. I saw the real picture of the legal structure of the administration of civil law, in Russia. This was made possible, thanks to being forced into more than 100 legal processes.
3. I learned about a new country on my own, i.e., the country of Germany and its life, from the inside. I came to this knowledge, thanks to a disease that was operated on several times in Münster, and where I was then constantly observed by the medical team.
4. I made lots of new contacts and relationships, by revising and improving my attitude toward communication, in general. I was forced to develop intensively, in this direction, because of the fact that I did not have enough money, due to huge legal expenses that I was incurring.
5. I created a series of webinars on the emotional problems of litigants. I was able to deeply understand the numerous aspects of this problem, through personal participation in more than 100 lawsuits.
6. I made a jump in personal growth by walking through the path of psychotherapy and self-knowledge for 500 hours, as a result of my traumatic divorce.
7. I radically changed my views on raising my children and developed a warm and harmonious relationship with them. This was thanks to my training in psychology, which I acquired in the process of suffering from divorce.
8. I freed myself from the captivity of orthodox religious beliefs imposed by my ex-husband, thanks to a priest, who confessed to me for 6 years about his life of betrayal.
9. I mastered the modern marketing skills for the promotion of my professional psychological services. I graduated from a 9-month private-practice business school. I was driven by a material crisis, in view of the high legal costs.
10. I learned the Czech language and culture of the Czech Republic, studying for 1.5 years at Charles University. This was the result of forced immigration from Russia due to insufficient legal protection for my children during the divorce process, in the corrupt judicial system.

To conclude this short essay, it’s important for me to note that if I could change one thing in my past life with a magic wand, then, it would definitely not be, my sufferings, because they all led to the destruction of my pathological beliefs that had weighed me down emotionally and had deprived me of freedom of action, which I now enjoy in my current life.